


Feelings begone!

by setaxis



Series: Begone! [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 08:33:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4953505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setaxis/pseuds/setaxis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An au in which Sehun wants to get rid of his feelings for his best friend and finds a very strange shop. Cracky, and also with a side of LayHan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelings begone!

**Author's Note:**

> This originally started as a drabble (like 200 words) and then it grew.

Sometimes Jongin feels like his brother. Other times he wants to press his tongue inside Jongin's mouth. All Sehun's sure of is that is the mix of emotions that jongin evokes in him is not healthy - not that it makes a blind bit of difference in the end because Sehun's feelings don't like listening to his rational brain. Stupid feelings. Who needs them anyway?  
  
It's just a thought, but it keeps swirling round in Sehun's brain like a mantra. Who needs feelings anyway? If his feelings are the problem, why doesn't he just get rid of them? Why not? His feelings haven't done him any good so far.

Sehun's not sure whether there's even a way to purge yourself of all emotion but he'd really like to give it a go. He'd seen it in a couple of the sci-fi films Jongin likes so much but none of them really went into detail about the actual process. He can't really remember any of the film's names either so that route's out.

He types 'getting rid of feelings' into google. A lot of useless shit comes out about break-ups and posts on tumblr about having 'feels' - whatever those were- but nothing useful. He's about to give up (because if google doesn't know maybe there's no remedy after all) when he spots an unassuming website right at the bottom of the last page. He clicks on it without really thinking.

It looks a bit strange. There's some kind of celtic swirly stuff surrounding the website's name as well as pictures of cats in various cute poses, all of which makes Sehun deeply dubious of the website's authenticity, but at the same time it's the most promising thing he's read all day. (That fact makes him want to weep a little.) With that in mind he shrugs to himself and thinks why not? He's got nothing to lose. (Except those pesky feelings, of course.)

Upon further inspection the website claims to be able to get rid of any feeling within three weeks. Sehun notes the 'any' with glee. However it also says the client must come to their shop for a consultation, which once again sends the alarm bells in Sehun's head ringing. Deeply suspicious.  
He googles their address nonetheless because he's come this far. He's braved celtic cats for this, for pity's sake, he's not about to wimp out now. It turns out the shop right round the corner from his and Jongin's dance studio. Which is weird. He would have noticed it, surely, if its website is anything to go by. Or he would say that if he weren't all too aware that the sad reality is that he's usually too busy mucking around with Jongin or (more recently) staring at his ~~arse~~ face to pay attention to his surroundings. The amount of times he's nearly got run over is approaching treble figures by now.

Well, seeing as it's so close it couldn't hurt to have a look.

...Right?

xxx

The website didn't say anything about having to book an appointment (and Sehun figures that with a website like that they can't be too busy - someone must have had way too much free time on their hands to create that monstrosity) so Sehun plans to just drop by one day after dance class. The problem is getting rid of Jongin. Sehun can't lie for shit and he can't run faster than Jongin either, which leaves two options - waiting until Jongin's sick (which is almost never) or getting Luhan-hyung to lie to Jongin for him.

He calls Luhan.

Now, this is almost always a mistake because the price of Luhan's help is almost always worth more than his assistance for to make a deal with Luhan is to make a deal with the devil. This time Luhan agrees to get Jongin off Sehun's back by telling him they're going out together. However the price he demands for his services is to accompany Sehun to the weird shop which was certainly not in Sehun's plans. He doesn't care how much Luhan liked their website (just more proof that his hyung is somewhat mentally unhinged) he's bound to muck everything up if he comes with. Sadly he can't run faster than Luhan either.

And this is how Sehun ends up on a bright and sunny monday afternoon in front of a very plain looking shop staring at a sign that reads 'the mystic unicorn' while Luhan whines about how he thought there'd be more cats. Sehun hates his life.

Sighing he tugs on Luhan's arm and enters the shop. A bell jingles as the door shuts. They both stare in confusion. The first thing Sehun thinks is that this shop is a lot bigger on the inside than on the outside. The second is that it's surprisingly clean and organised - Sehun was expecting some kind of jumble of objects and lots of dust and possibly some very large spiders that he would've had to save Luhan from - but the floor is swept, the walls are neatly lined with drawers labelled with what looks like chinese -  
"That's chinese!" Luhan squeals excitedly.

"Certainly is." A voice says from behind them.

Luhan screams and spins wildly trying to find the source of the voice, somehow managing to hide behind Sehun as he does so. A short man with a friendly (if not slightly dopey - looking) smile stands behind the counter.

"Welcome to the mystic unicorn!" The man smiles wider, revealing a row of blinding white teeth.

"Oh god." Luhan whimpers behind him. "He's got mother-fucking dimples."

Luckily the man doesn't seem to hear. "I'm Yixing, the owner. What can I help you with today?"

"I can think of a few things." Luhan says a little too loudly.

Yixing's smile turns confused and Sehun groans inwardly.

"Feelings." He blurts out hurriedly. "Your website said you can get rid of them."

"Oh, yes!" Yixing lights up. "It's our bestselling potion line."'  
_Potion? Oh god, this guy's clearly a nutcase._  
"...Right."

"Which emotions were you looking to get rid of?" Yixing says brightly and Sehun thinks to himself this was definitely the guy who designed the celtic cats.

"Are there any you can't do?"

Yixing looks thoughtful. "Happiness is usually a little stubborn, but no, there's nothing we can't handle."

Sehun feels a pinch on his arm and  then Luhan all but drags Sehun over to a corner of the shop. "Sehun, what is this?" He hisses.

"I know," Sehun whispers back, "that Yixing guy's a complete nutcase."

"Not that, dumbass. You want to get rid of your feelings? You want to become an automaton?"

Sehun shifts uncomfortably. "Not _all_ my feelings hyung."

"You're a shit liar, you know."

Sehun winces.

"Sehun, we're leaving. You don't need any of this hocus pocus." Luhan says firmly.

Sehun wrenches his arm from Luhan's grasp.

"No, hyung! You just don't get it. I _do_ need this stuff." Sehun says a little desperately. He can't go back now. He's made his resolution - he can't go on living like this anymore. It's ruining his friendship with Jongin and it's just not right and he needs rid of it. He needs it. "You don't need to stay, but I'm going to. I want to hear what Yixing has to say."

Luhan narrows his eyes. "Fine." Sehun's heart soars. "But on one condition." Sehun sinks a little at hearing that, but he also knows that Luhan can and will make his life very uncomfortable if he doesn't agree.

Luhan's face softens. "You can't get rid of all your feelings, okay? Just the one that's making you so unhappy. I don't want my cute Sehunnie turning into a robot."

The smile that splits open Sehun's face is sweet and blinding. "Love you, hyung." He whispers.

He turns back to Yixing only to find the counter empty. A moment later Yixing wanders back, a cup of very strong smelling tea in his hand and Sehun wrinkles his nose up in disgust.

"Oh." Yixing says, eyes wide. "You're finished."

"Can you get rid of a crush?" Sehun asks before Yixing can get sidetracked.

"Ah, the old crush-crush-me-not potion." Yixing nods sagely. Out of the corner of his eye Sehun can see Luhan making the international sign for 'this dude be cray-cray' and he prays Yixing is too spacey to notice. "Let me go check if we've still got some in stock." And with that Yixing disappears as quickly and as silently as he did the first time.

"You have a crush?" Luhan asks gleefully. "This is priceless - stoic Prince Sehun finally falls. Who are they? Do I know them?"

Sehun groans. He hates Luhan's tendency to behave like a gossiping school-girl.

"C'mon." Luhan whines. "I told you that one time I had that  crush on Kris-"

"I never asked for that information." Sehun states drily. He makes the mistake of looking at Luhan. His fists are screwed up near his cheeks and his eyes are wide and innocent. Oh god. Not the aegyo.

"Tell me~" Luhan sing-songs.

"No."

Luhan pouts.

"No."

Luhan's lip starts trembling.

"Oh god, please, hyung. You're a grown man-"

"Sehunnie~" Luhan blinks as if he's keeping back tears. "Why won't you tell hyung? Don't you love hyung anymore?"

"Fine!" Sehun shouts. "Fine. I'll tell you, okay? Just stop with the aegyo already."

Luhan grins victoriously. Sehun thinks he looks a lot like a crocodile closing in on its prey.

"It's Jongin, okay?" He whispers.

"Jongin?" Luhan parrots dumbly.

"That's what I said, didn't I?"

"Are you two finished?" Yixing's voice interrupts them.

Luhan screams again and clasps his chest. "Jesus christ, why do you keep doing that? Would it kill you to give a guy some warning?"

"I was distracted by your beautiful crocodile tears." Yixing deadpans.

Sehun isn't quite sure whether that's a complement or an insult and Luhan, for once in his mischevious life, looks completely lost for words. Actually he looks like someone's hit him over the head with a baseball bat and Sehun finds he quite likes that look on Luhan.

"Anyway," Yixing continues, "it looks like you're in luck. We have one vial left."

He holds up a rock-shaped glass container with some suspicious grey liquid inside. It swirls round the vial ominously and Sehun feels a little bit nauseous watching it. He's sure it's just apprehension. Afterall, he's finally found what he's been looking for - what else could it be?

"What's it cost?" He mumbles, mesmerised by the twisting of the strands of light through the grey gloop.

"A virgin's kiss."

"Um, what?" Sehun asks, taken aback. Had he heard that right?

"A crush is based on innocence so part of the remedy lies in taking some of that innocence away." Yixing explains slowly, as if talking to a child. Then he shrugs. "Besides, it's a useful base for several potions we're running low on and it's hard finding virgins these days."

As if broken from his stupor Luhan snatches the vial from Yixing's hand.

"Sehun, you can't do this."

Sehun grits his teeth. "Hyung, what are you doing?"

"Saving you from yourself."

It happens as if in slow motion. Luhan's arm swings up, high over his head and Sehun is powerless to watch as the vial flies towards the ground, shattering into a million pieces. The liquid inside evaporates in a cloud of silver mist and Sehun sees his hopes of not fucking up his friendship with Jongin disappear with it. Tears prick his eyes.

"You still have to pay for it." Yixing says mildly. Luhan simply leans over the counter to fist his hands in Yixing's collar and plants a kiss straight on his lips.

"Will that do?"

Yixing smiles serenely. "It will more than do."

“Hyung.” Sehun says. His voice almost breaks. “Why did you do that? Jongin-”

“Will not be upset you like him.” Luhan wraps Sehun in a hug. “I promise you, hunnie.”

“How can you possibly know that? He’s going to hate me, hyung.” Sehun sniffles.

Luhan rubs comforting circles on Sehun’s back. “Do you trust me?”

_ About as far as I can throw you. _ Sehun thinks. He does not say this out loud, because his hyung is deceptively strong and he’d like to keep his ribs intact. Luhan seems to sense his reluctance.

“When have I ever broken my promises?” He croons, hands still rubbing gently over Sehun’s back. 

Now this Sehun knows to be true. Luhan is infamous for following through on his promises, especially when it involves money or pain. 

“You’re sure he won’t hate me?” He says in a small voice.

“Completely.” He gives Sehun one last squeeze and lets him go.”Let’s get out of here, okay? There aren’t nearly enough cats.”

Despite himself Sehun finds himself laughing and it makes him he remember why he loves Luhan.  “Okay hyung. Let’s go.”

Hand in hand they walk out the strange shop and into the sunlight. Inside Yixing shakes his head and goes off to find the broom to clean up the mess his crazy customers left, making a mental note to ask Kyungsoo to brew more ‘crush, crush-me-not’ as he does so.

_ At least the one with the cute face liked the celtic cats.  _ He thinks to himself.

Xxx

It takes one week (and Luhan threatening to call in a favour with Joonmyeon to stop him buying Sehun bubble tea) for Sehun to screw up the courage to tell Jongin about his feelings.

He would like to say he did so in a dignified and well-thought-out manner, but this would be a lie. Instead he blurts out after dance practice – “I like you, please don’t hate me!” – and then proceeds to run away as fast as he can.

There is one vital flaw in this plan, and that is that he has forgotten than Jongin can run faster than him. As a result Sehun finds himself eating dirt when Jongin catches up with him and tackles him face down into the grass with a cry of – “Stop running away!”.

Sehun waits for Jongin to get off. He doesn’t. Jongin’s kinda heavy and the way he can hear Jongin breathing into his ear is doing nothing to calm his racing heart.

“Are you going to get off me?” He snaps.

“Are you going to run away if I get off?” Jongin fires back.

“Probably.” Sehun admits.

“I’m not getting off then. You’re just going to have to lie there and listen to me, okay?” Jongin whispers in Sehun’s ear. Sehun squirms. All of this is  
really not good for his heart.

_"I like you too."_

Sehun’s brain short-circuits.

A weight is lifted from his chest and he finds himself being gently rolled over onto his back. He lays there, staring up at the sky and trying to process what he’s just heard. He can’t bring himself to look at Jongin. He’s not quite convinced that it wasn’t just his traitorous brain playing tricks on him.

He hears a chuckle to his left.

“Need me to say it again?” 

Sehun nods fearfully. 

“I like you, dumbass.” 

“Oh.” Sehun says eloquently.

“Not planning on running away again?” Jongin teases.

“Not sure I can stand up, to be honest.”

“Need CPR?” Jongin wiggles his eyebrows.

Sehun gives him a thump on the arm. “Stop being stupid. And give me a piggyback.” He demands.

“The first I can’t do anything about, sorry.” Jongin shrugs, looking entirely unapologetic. “The second one, however…”

xxx

And that is how, with a lot less pain than Sehun was expecting, he and Jongin started dating. (It also involved a lot less kissing than he would have liked, he thinks with a pout. )

In any case, it turns out Lu Han was right. Jongin was not mad at Sehun for liking him and certainly did not hate him which means that Sehun has to deal with Lu Han being insufferable because he was "telepathic" and "always knew they would end up together". Sehun doesn't quite know how each of them telling Lu Han they liked the other qualifies as telepathy, but it's really not worth arguing. Not when Sehun has Jongin. (And Lu-hyung's punches leave his arm dead for hours.)

The act of Lu Han being insufferable also coincidentally leads to Sehun telling Jongin of his rather embarrassing foray into the Dark Arts (as Jongin insists on calling it - he also insists on calling Sehun 'Harry' for the next week or so) and them taking a trip to the Mystic Unicorn to see Yixing and his cat-free lair.

However what they find when they get there is far beyond their wildest dreams, and Sehun isn't talking about magic, oh no. It's much better than that. Behind the counter, face attached to Yixing's via lips, is Lu Han.

The bell on the door rings. Lu Han jumps away from Yixing with a start and whirls around to face the door, best angelic smile on his face ready to lure unsuspecting victims into his trap. When he sees Jongin and Sehun standing there the words 'welcome to the mystic unicorn' die in his throat and he turns a rather impressive shade of grey. Yixing, as usual, looks completely nonplussed.

Jongin and Sehun share a wicked glance with each other and advance.

"Hey, Sehun-sweetcheeks, wasn't it your idea to come to this shop?" Jongin asks mildly.

"It was, Jonginniepoo, you're right." Sehun returns, tone just as mild.

"And didn't you bring Lu Han with you, love-muffin?"

"Once again, light-of-my-life, you are correct."

"Doesn't that make you responsable for Lulu meeting the love of his life, oh dearest heart?" Jongin ponders, wonderingly.

"You know snugglepuffs, I'd never thought about it like that. But now you mention it..." Sehun trails off deliberately. Lu Han visibly starts to sweat. "Hey, hyung? Do you know what I'm thinking right now?" Sehun says sweetly.

Lu Han gulps. Sehun grins. Revenge is sweet.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god, what is this? I'm so sorry... I've just managed to write a Sekai fic with all of about 3 miliseconds of actual Sekai interaction. Dear lord in heaven, I fail at life.


End file.
